If You Love Someone Let Them Go: 7 Big Reasons People Say This
If your feelings are real for someone, it’s natural to want to hold on.
You want to stay close, fix things, and not lose them. So when someone says,
“If you love them, let them go,”
—it can feel wrong and hard to hear.
But over time, many people learn this is true. Because real love isn’t about control. It’s not about forcing someone to stay. But it’s about caring for them enough to give them space—if that’s what they need.
And if the love is meant to last, it will come back. If not, at least you let them go with love, not force. So why do people say this phrase, again and again? Let’s explore what it really means.
Who Said If You Love Someone, Let Them Go “?
The quote “If you love someone, let them go” is most often linked to Richard Bach, an American author. He wrote something very close to this in his book Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah in 1977.
His version was:
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; but if they don’t, they never were.”
That’s where the popular saying comes from. Over time, people just shortened it to:
“If you love someone, let them go.”
So while many people say it now, it likely started with Richard Bach’s words.
Is It True If You Love Someone, Let Them Go?
✅ Yes, it’s true when:
- They don’t want to be with you.
If someone wants to leave, trying to make them stay will only hurt more. Letting them go shows that you respect them and yourself. - You’re holding on out of fear.
Real feelings aren’t about control. If you’re scared of losing them and trying to keep them no matter what, that’s not healthy love. - You both need space to grow.
Sometimes, people need time apart to become better versions of themselves. So letting go gives that space. And if it’s meant to be, they might come back. - The relationship is hurting you.
Even if you love someone, it’s okay to let go if they make you feel bad, small, or not good enough.
❌ No, it’s not always true when:
- They love you back and want to stay.
If someone truly loves you and wants to work through things, letting go might not be the answer. Real love also means trying together. - You’re just scared of being hurt.
Some people let go too soon because they’re afraid. That’s not always love—it might be fear or doubt.
Related- 5 Shocking things to do when a man pulls away: (Psychology-based)
If You Love Someone, Let Them Go — Meaning
This phrase means that real love gives someone freedom, not pressure.
If a person is truly meant to be in your life, they’ll come back on their own—not because you begged or held on, but because they wanted to.
Letting someone go means trusting that love doesn’t need to be forced. It grows best when both people feel free, not trapped.
It also means facing the truth: you can’t control how someone feels or what they choose. But you can love them in a way that brings peace, not guilt.
And if they return, it will be real.
If they don’t, it still means you loved them in the most honest way—by letting them be who they are.
7 Big Reasons Why People Say “If You Love Someone, Let Them Go”
1. Because Real Love Doesn’t Mean Controlling Someone
A lot of people think love means holding on tight. But that’s not real love—it’s fear.
If you have true feelings for someone, you don’t need to control them or make them stay. You want what’s best for them, even if that means being without you.
Heartfelt care isn’t about saying, “You’re mine.”
It’s about saying, “I care about your happiness, even if it’s not with me.”
Letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t love them. It means your love was strong enough to give them freedom.
2. Because You Can’t Force Someone to Love You
You can’t make someone love you just by loving them more.
No matter how much effort you give, how kind you are, or how much you wish they’d stay—you can’t control someone else’s heart.
If they don’t choose you, it doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It just means the connection wasn’t meant to last.
Some love is only for a season. It teaches you something. It changes you. And then it ends by giving silent treatment. That’s okay.
Letting go is how you show respect—for them, and for yourself.
3. Because Letting Go Helps You Find Your Worth Again
When you keep holding on to someone who doesn’t feel the same, you forget your own value.
You might feel desperate, sad, or not good enough. But letting go helps you come back to yourself.
You stop chasing. You stop trying to prove you’re worth loving. So you start healing. You get stronger.
You learn to love yourself again.
And that’s when real confidence begins to grow.
4. Because Clinging, Worrying, and Expecting Too Much Hurts You
It hurts when you love someone and they don’t love you back.
You start asking:
- Why wasn’t I enough?
- What did I do wrong?
- How could they leave after everything I did?
That pain comes from expecting something in return.
But a real bond isn’t a trade. You don’t give just to get something back.
If you loved them because you truly felt it—not because you needed a reward—then your love was real.
When you accept that, the pain starts to fade. You stop overthinking. You start finding peace.
5. Because Love Is Not About Results—It’s About What You Felt
We often look for signs that our love mattered.
Did they stay? Did they choose me?
But love isn’t only about what happens. It’s about how deeply you felt something.
You cared. And you gave your heart. You were moved by someone. That’s beautiful. So don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.
Even if the story ended, the bond was still real.
You don’t need more proof than that.
6. Because Letting Go Opens the Door to Something Better
When you keep holding on to someone who doesn’t want to stay, you block new love from coming into your life.
Letting go creates space—for healing, for joy, and for someone new who will love you the way you deserve.
Sometimes, letting go also gives the other person room to grow.
If they’re meant to come back, they will.
And if they don’t? Something even better will.
Letting go shows that you trust life to bring you what’s truly right for you.
7. Because You Find Peace When You Accept, Not When You Hold On
Trying to control the connection can lead to feelings of anxiety, fatigue, and sadness.
But when you accept what’s happening—when you let go instead of trying to fix it—you feel calm.
You stop waiting for messages.
And you stop hoping they’ll change their mind.
You stop needing anything from them.
And you start doing things for you.
You find peace by being yourself, not by chasing someone else.
Letting go is the moment you stop needing love to come from someone else—because you’ve found peace inside yourself.
Related- How to Fall Out of Love with Someone: 10 Powerful Ways to Let Go
Top 5 Bible Verses About Letting Go of Someone You Love
Letting go of someone you love is never easy. But even in the Bible, people had to say painful goodbyes—not because they stopped loving, but because life or God’s plan made it necessary.
1. Genesis 21:14 (NIV)
“Early the next morning, Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar… He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy.”
Abraham loved Ishmael, but he let him go because God asked him to. So sometimes, letting go is about trusting God even when it hurts.
2. 2 Samuel 12:22-23 (NIV)
“…But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again?…”
David accepted his child’s death. He grieved, then let go. True affection sometimes means accepting what we can’t change.
3. Ruth 1:14 (NIV)
“Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.”
Orpah said goodbye with tears. Even when people care, they may have to walk away.
4. Matthew 19:21-22 (NIV)
“When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.”
This man loved his wealth too much to let it go. Sometimes we must choose between what we love and what God calls us to.
5. Acts 20:36-38 (NIV)
“They all wept as they embraced him… They would never see his face again.”
Paul said a painful goodbye to people he loved. But he followed God’s call, showing that real love sometimes means letting go.
Inspirational Quotes, If You Love Someone, Let Them Go
1) “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.”
– Richard Bach
2) “Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
– Eckhart Tolle
3) “True love is not about holding on tightly—it’s about letting go gracefully when it’s time.”
– Unknown
4) “Letting go means realizing that some people are a part of your history, but not your destiny.”
– Steve Maraboli
5) “You don’t let go of an attachment because it hurts. You let go because it no longer lifts you.”
– Unknown
6) “If it’s real, it will never be lost. If it’s meant to be, it will come back when it’s time.”
– Unknown
7) “To love is to let someone go if they need to grow. Holding on too tightly can crush what you’re trying to protect.”
– Tarannum Ali
8) “Letting go isn’t giving up. It’s choosing to trust that what’s meant for you will stay—or return.”
– Unknown
9) “Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. That doesn’t make the love any less real.”
– Unknown
10) “Real love gives freedom, not fear. If you have to hold them down to keep them, it was never love.”
– Tarannum Ali
Related- True Love Is When He Ignores You: 10 Best Ways to Confirm it
Final Words
Letting go isn’t weakness. Because it’s a quiet kind of strength that comes from real love.
From the 7 reasons, the Bible verses, and the quotes you’ve just read—one simple truth stands out:
Sometimes, loving someone means giving them the space to grow, even if it means growing apart.
You don’t let go because you stopped caring.
You let go because your love is strong enough to set them free.
And whether they come back or not, you can move forward with peace—knowing your love was honest, brave, and full of grace.
Related- 16 Signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back
